About this Project

Mission Statement

  1. Our mission is to work with dysfunctional families in Family Court. By helping adults solve their problems, we hope to improve the lives of children in their care. The troubled families we are trying to work with are the Department of Family Services, the Children's Advocate Program, the Juvenile District Attorney, the Juvenile Public Defender, the Juvenile Probation Department, the Department of Juvenile Justice Services, the local press, a bunch of egotistical attorneys and a gaggle of squabbling judges.

  2. We also seek to use the court as a vehicle for exploring philosophical topics that interest us. By observing the activities here, we hope to draw conclusions about humanity at large, then report our findings on our website.

With our background in hunting aliens and exploring government bureaucracies at Area 51, we feel uniquely qualified to tackle the Family Court. There are certainly plenty of aliens here (in human form but not quite connected to this planet), and the governmental structures are exquisite. This project also gives us a chance to test philosophical concepts we have been working on for years.

This is a five-year mission. (Not sure why, just has a nice sound to it.) We'll boldly go where no former UFO researcher has gone before. We don't know where our adventure will lead us. We might write a book, or maybe not. We might become a major nuisance, or only a minor irritant. Only the website itself is a sure thing.

Everything on this website is negotiable. If you don't like something we write, or you think that something should be changed, let us know. If your reasoning is sound, we will probably comply, at least to address your concerns in some way.

This project is a partnership with you, our reader. Whether or not you are involved in Family Services, if you have bothered to read any of this website—especially if you have spent more than an hour here—then we value your opinion. We could change the direction of the entire project based on your suggestion. Your observations help keep us on track, and we will try to respond to whatever you send us.

We are always walking a fine line. We want to be funny and observant but not mean or destructive. If you feel that we have crossed the line, please tell us (before we get into even deeper shit).

Project Etiology. You may be wondering how we first got involved in a project like this. This explanation might help.

How We Survive. This project is entirely self-funded by the webmaster, who is proudly homeless to support it. He sleeps in his car in the winter and in the desert in the summer. He showers at a health club and survives on Taco Bell, morning, noon and night. He works a part-time internet job to support his lavish lifestyle and spends the rest of his time on this project.

Our website server is located in Pittsburgh (we are told). We maintain it via a laptop computer with a cellular internet connection. We work in the courthouse itself, in libraries, in parking lots, on the beach in California and (maybe someday) in the south of France or a mountaintop on Maui.

Real work (what little we do of it) really sucks, and we would much rather work on this project full-time. If you have any suggestions for long-term funding, let us know. We are open to any proposals that don't involve a complicated application process or selling out to "The Man."


The painting on our home page is The Judgment of Solomon by Nicolas Poussin. 1649. Oil on canvas. Louvre, Paris.

Because this website has been frozen, reader comments can no longer be added to this page (effective 8/3/09). If you feel that an existing comment is damaging or inappropriate, feel free to contact the webmaster regarding its removal: familycourtguy (at) gmail.com

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©2005-07, Glenn Campbell
This is an independent and unofficial website.
All opinions expressed are those of the webmaster or the person quoted.
Information conveyed here is accurate to the best of our knowledge but is not guaranteed.
You should seek your own independent verification of critical information.

As of Aug. 2008, this site is no longer active or maintained.

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Page Started: 8/25/05
Major revision: 4/10/06