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This section was my workspace for philosophy essays between July 2006 and April 2008. I call this "Prehistoric Kilroy" because it gave me practice for more disciplined essays in Kilroy Cafe. Also see my philophical blog and Twitter feed.

Issue #10, 8/25/2006

A Personal Breast Revelation

By Glenn Campbell
Family Court Philosopher

It is about midnight now. A few minutes ago, I was semi-conscious in bed. I was thinking about my breast investigations of the previous day.

Suddenly, I sat bolt upright and said, "Oh, my God!"

Something just occurred to me about my own body that I never realized before. It may seem rather personal, but given my previous discussions, I don't feel squeamish revealing this to all the world.

I have three nipples!

I am 46, and I thought I knew my body pretty well, but this is stunning news to me.

The phenomenon is called a "supernumerary nipple" and I learned about it in a Wikipedia entry.

Mammals with four legs tend to have not just two nipples, but a whole line of them along both sides of their ribcage. Picture those of a dog or cat. Humans can sometimes have vestigial versions of these nipples appearing above or below their regular ones along an imaginary line from their armpit to their groin. Usually, these take the form of small raised moles that are unremarkable except for their location.

Turns out, I have one of these moles. I have had it all of my life. It is about 1/6th inch in diameter (0.25 cm), and it is four inches below my regular nipple on the left. It has no special sensitivity, at least right now. Over the years, I have picked and scratched at it, trying to get rid of it, to no avail. If I had known what it was, I would have taken better care of it.

For the sake of decency, I will not show you my nipples, normal or vestigial. However, here is a photo of actor Mark Wahlberg, who has an extra one. My chest looks exactly like his, except that my extra nipple is smaller and lower.

This blemish is unique on my body. I have many freckles, but this is the only one that is raised. In other words, this is my one permanent blemish that can be felt and not just seen. Just now, I have felt myself over pretty good, and I have found no other raised moles except for maybe ONE OTHER ONE, which is tiny and is about three inches below my nipple on the right.

My God, I have FOUR nipples!

The fourth one is only about a millimeter in diameter—so small that I never bothered to pick at it. It looks unremarkable, but it is definitely in the right place.

I'm a freak of nature!

You could be one, too! Check it out!

This could be a very interesting conversation starter, don't you think? "Hi, I'm Glenn. I have four nipples."

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

The model Masuimi Max has two extra nipples, one of which is shown in this photo, appearing above her regular breast. It may look like a mole but it isn't. It appears in the correct anatomical location. She also has one in the same place on the other side. (For further research, see Masuimi Max nude and the official Masuimi Max website. She is somewhere between kinky and campy. Her motto: "Go ahead - love me for my boobies and brains." )

Another famous extra-nipple-wearer, although fictional, is Scaramanga, the villain in the James Bond movie, The Man with the Golden Gun.

I feel rather more dashing now.

It just goes to show you how alien we are to our own bodies. I didn't choose this funny little body. It chose me, and I am still finding out things about it.

Reader Comments

“need to learn more. My right breast was remore 6 25 07” — 6/27/07 (rating=3)

“ive also got 4 nipples. i cant actually remember discovering them they just always have been there as far as i can remember.” —hannah schram 11/18/07 (rating=2)

“Me too! Mine looks just like Mark's. Seeing this makes me feel 100% better. I thought I was just weird.” — 1/15/09 (rating=3)

“My God, Ive got four nipples!” —Who am I? Whoi am I?? Who are you!!?!! 3/18/09 (rating=3)

“rubbish” —a ninja 12/2/09 (rating=0)

Ratings so far: 0 3 5 1 1 1 3 0 2 3 3 3 2 3 0 (Average=2)

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